Twist of Fate
by pari106
Summary: Response to JuPiter Station Narr. Challenge #50. At the end of "Threshold", Tom and Kathryn wake up on the alien planet, human and pregnant.
1. Default Chapter

By Pari106  
http://www.pari106.homestead.com/index2.html  
  
Disclaimer: Everyone and everything belongs to Paramount – so don't sue me for trying to take credit for   
the fruits of their labor. Constructive criticism is always welcome at pari106@hotmail.com  
  
  
Code: J/P  
  
Summary: Response to JuPiter Station Narrative Challenge #50. Janeway and Paris wake up on the alien   
planet in "Threshold", human once again…and pregnant! (How? Don't worry about *how*, the interesting   
part is what happens next.)   
  
  
  
Twist of Fate  
  
  
The first thing Kathryn Janeway noticed, upon waking, was that she was lying on the ground. Not on the   
padded floor of a ship's turbolift or on the cold, hard deck of a shuttlecraft, but on the soft, springy   
vegetation that sprung forth from the soil of a planet. She lay there on her side, breathing in the damp,   
slightly musty scents of a swamp, regaining consciousness. The second thing she noticed was that there   
was a lot more of her lying there than there should have been.  
  
"What…"  
  
With a little yelp, Kathryn pulled herself into an awkward sitting position, looking down at her naked and   
muddy body. Her very pregnant body.  
  
"That's impossible," she whispered, placing one hand upon her now very rounded belly. In response,   
something within her kicked, and she felt the movement as a tiny flutter against her hand and within her   
womb. She quickly began to panic.  
  
"What…what the…"  
  
Kathryn began scooting backwards in the swamp's undergrowth, looking around her at the tall trees above   
her, the alien sky visible just beyond. She had no idea where she was or how she'd gotten there…no idea   
why her stomach protruded as though she were with child.  
  
She wasn't even aware of her companion until she heard him moan, then, turning, she saw Tom Paris lying   
nearby.  
  
"Tom?"  
  
Paris slowly opened his eyes, squinting at the light that filtered through the foliage above. It took him a   
moment to gain his bearings and sit up – to realize that he was on an alien planet, naked. And then he   
turned and saw an equally naked – equally wide-eyed – Kathryn Janeway huddled nearby.  
  
"Captain!"  
  
Tom rushed to Janeway's side just as she fainted, taking her into his arms. His mind raced to make sense   
of the situation. He was naked…Captain Janeway was naked…she was… Tom's eyes suddenly fixed on   
Kathryn's large stomach.  
  
The last thing Kathryn heard, before unconsciousness took her, was Tom's strangled exclamation.  
  
"Oh my God!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It took Tom a surprisingly short amount of time to locate their shuttlecraft; longer to gently move his   
captain from where she lay into the sterile environment of the shuttle's cabin. Apparently, after they'd   
landed, neither of them had walked…slithered?…whatever, very far. Tom found the shuttle, retrieved a   
blanket, and then began the tedious task of moving his commanding officer. Kathryn was petite and not at   
all too heavy to lift – not even with the extra-added weight of her offspring. But they were both still slick   
with mud and, even after he'd wrapped her in a blanket, it had been difficult to get a good grasp on her.   
And he was trying very hard not to apply any pressure on her…on the…  
  
Tom felt as though he were biting back tears as he finally carried Kathryn's body into the shuttle, lying her   
down on a cot in the back. He forced himself not to fixate on her pregnant belly any longer.  
  
And then he lost himself in menial tasks – scrubbing both Kathryn and himself clean of the swamp's soil,   
searching for appropriate clothing for them both (this turned out to be a useless effort. Apparently they had   
ripped out of their uniforms when they began to evolve, and there were no replacements on board.) He   
settled on blankets for them both, then found a medical tricorder. He scanned himself first, discovering that   
– apparently – the Doctor's theory for curing his "condition" hadn't been necessary. Tom had "devolved"   
back to his original self all on his own; the captain, too. Then Tom scanned Kathryn.  
  
At first, he was able to block out the truth of what he saw, of what the state of her body implied. But,   
eventually, Tom knew he would have to face Kathryn's condition; that he would have to wave that   
tricorder over her body and confirm what he already feared. His hands shook as he did so.   
  
And then the results of his scan were there on the tricorder's screen for Tom to see. Kathryn Janeway was   
pregnant – was due to give birth any day now, in fact. And she was pregnant with not one human   
child…but three. Triplets. His triplets.  
  
Tom felt a wave of countless emotions overcome him all at once: pain, shock, fear, sorrow, excitement, and   
awe. The tricorder fell from his hands and onto the shuttle's floor with a clang as Tom fell backwards, no   
longer possessing the strength even to kneel at Janeway's side.   
  
Kathryn Janeway was pregnant…with his children. He'd gotten her pregnant. He'd impregnated *Kathryn   
Janeway*. The thought ran through Tom's mind over and over again. He'd abducted her from the ship,   
forced her onto a shuttle and…  
  
Suddenly Tom was very sick. He erupted from the blanket he'd been cowering under and was out of the   
shuttle in a movement, doubling over a nearby bush as his body was wracked again and again with nausea.  
  
Christ! What was wrong with him? He'd been nothing before Kathryn Janeway, less than nothing. He   
would have died in prison or in some damned bar fight if she hadn't saved him, trusted him, believed in   
him. And how did he repay her for giving him his life back? By becoming delusional under the influence   
of Warp 10 and raping her on some god-forsaken alien planet in the middle of the Delta Quadrant.  
  
Tom didn't know how long he remained in that position, vomiting until his body was exhausted and aching.   
He barely even realized it when Kathryn suddenly came up from behind him, easing him back into the   
shuttle.  
  
It wasn't, in fact, until Janeway had pulled his body against hers, offering the warmth of the blanket draped   
around her own shoulders that Tom reacted to her nearness.  
  
"Captain…I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry…"   
  
Tom didn't know if he sobbed then – it certainly felt as though he were sobbing. He couldn't feel any tears   
streaking down his face, however. But then, he couldn't feel much of anything at the moment.  
  
Kathryn merely shushed him, brushing blonde locks of hair away from his face as she rocked him in a   
soothing embrace. She was behaving like a mother comforting her child – a fact that was lost on neither of   
them.  
  
"It's okay, Tom," she was whispering. "It's alright."   
  
Neither of them showed the slightest sign of discomfort at being pressed together in such an intimate   
fashion, no clothing between them. Dazed by the shocking turn of events that had brought them to where   
they rested, Tom and Kathryn shifted until they were lying in each other's arms and fell asleep.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
When they awoke, no words were said. Tom was the first to rise, running to find the emergency rations   
each shuttle was equipped with. When he returned, once again bundled in his own separate blanket,   
Kathryn smiled, thinking it was strange that the young man would feel hungry now, after having suffered   
such an intense attack of nausea just a short time before. Especially if he was hungry for the emergency   
rations – they gave a meaning to the word 'unappetizing' that even Neelix hadn't yet managed to top.   
  
When he'd broken the wrapper on one, however, Kathryn's smile disappeared as she realized she was   
suddenly starving. Apparently 'they' – she and her children – were hungrier than she thought. Tom gave   
the first bar to the captain, setting a couple more aside for her, as well, before opening his own. And his   
somber demeanor suddenly disturbed Kathryn. Tom chewed his food in silence, his face a neutral mask   
she knew had been self-erected. His shoulders were slumped and he wouldn't even meet her eyes.  
  
"Tom?"  
  
"Aye, captain?" His response wasn't much more than a whisper.  
  
"I know our situation is somewhat…unusual. But that doesn't mean you need to behave as though your   
dog has just died."  
  
Tom looked up, startled, and Janeway had to smile again. She'd always prided herself on being able to   
fluster the normally unflappable pilot. His resulting passionate outburst, however, had her frowning.  
  
"Captain, how can you….How can you say that after what I've done?"  
  
"What you've…"  
  
Tom would have been on his feet if his shoulders hadn't been so heavily leaden with guilt and despair, and   
Kathryn became speechless when she saw the surprising depths of anguish in his attractive blue eyes.  
  
"I acted terribly on the ship," he began. Even now he could hardly remember all of his actions after having   
passed out in the mess hall, but what he did remember wasn't good. "I attacked you in a turbolift, stole a   
shuttle. I…"  
  
Tom shifted uncomfortably, looking away again.  
  
"You?" Janeway prompted, but he didn't speak.  
  
"Listen, Tom. I know you feel very badly about your actions, but you shouldn't feel so guilty. You   
weren't yourself – you were under the effects of transwarp flight. Anyone would have reacted just as bad."  
  
Tom shook his head in negation, but Kathryn took his hand in hers, firm. "Anyone, Tom. You're not   
responsible for your actions, you shouldn't beat yourself up over them. If anything, you should feel proud   
to have accomplished what you did and survived. You took a tremendous risk on behalf of the ship and the   
crew, and we very nearly lost you because of it."  
  
Tom's shaking became more emphatic and he tore his hand away from hers. "No! Don't you see? I am   
responsible! I'm responsible for…"  
  
"For?"  
  
Again, Tom's words faded into his silence, but his brief glance in her direction betrayed his thoughts.   
Kathryn put a hand to her stomach.  
  
"For getting me pregnant," she answered for him, and Tom slowly nodded.  
  
"I'm sorry, Captain. I'm so, so sorry. I don't know how I could have done what I've done, and I know   
there's no way I can atone for…" Tom looked practically on the verge of tears. "I understand that punitive   
actions will have to be taken. If you want me confined to the brig, that's fine. In fact, you can leave me   
here if you think it's best."  
  
Kathryn laughed, but her eyes were serious. "Now you're just being silly."  
  
"How can you not be angry about this?" he suddenly demanded. "How can you sit there and not hate me?"  
  
"Tom…"  
  
"I took advantage of you. Christ, I took advantage of the bravest, kindest woman I've ever known. How   
can you not despise me for that?"  
  
Kathryn was slightly taken aback by the strong emotion backing Tom's words. Especially when he spoke   
of her bravery and kindness. Tom had never told her what he thought of her, though she'd imagined he felt   
grateful for the chance she'd given him to build a life aboard her ship. His words weren't poetry (and,   
coming from a Paris, she wouldn't have trusted them if they were); they were simple, but the tone of his   
voice, the look in his eyes made them touching.   
  
"Tom…"  
  
Despite the warmth Tom's words gave her, however, Kathryn knew she couldn't allow him to go on like   
this, stewing in self-recrimination and loathing.  
  
"Lieutenant!" she called again, and this time with the authority to get Tom's attention. "You are to cease   
this behavior immediately. There will be no punitive action taken, understood? I'm the captain and I've   
decided that due to extenuating circumstances, you're actions do not warrant confinement or any other type   
of legal recourse. End of discussion."  
  
Tom was still shaky, still looking miserable, but this time, when Kathryn took his hand, he didn't flinch   
away. And she imbued her voice with all the soothing compassion that she could muster, trying to take the   
edge off of her firm command.  
  
"What happened, happened, Tom. Crucifying yourself won't change that. Besides," Kathryn continued,   
with a look that was pure evil. "Who's to say I didn't take advantage of you?"  
  
That was the first time she actually caused Tom's despair to slip. Utter shock replaced guilty anguish with   
a rapidity that made the captain laugh.  
  
"What? Would that be so unusual? It's common for the female in a number of species to be the one to   
initiate mating procedures."  
  
Mating procedures. Tom swallowed.  
  
"I…I don't think…"  
  
"And why not?" she challenged. Tom couldn't answer right away, but his totally flustered expression   
made her want to sigh and just hug him.  
  
"I don't think you'd do that," he responded, lamely, and Janeway raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Under normal circumstances, no. Are you saying that you would?"  
  
That got him, and Janeway's grin was a mile wide. He was blushing. She'd caused Tom Paris, the master   
of all things shady aboard her ship, to blush.  
  
"Well, no, I…I mean, not that you aren't…that I don't…oh God."  
  
The captain laughed and patted her pilot on the back.  
  
"It's okay, Lieutenant. Now stop this nonsense and finish eating. We need to see if we can get the   
shuttle's…" And then she stopped, her mouth opening and closing with a little gasp.  
  
"Captain? Captain, what's wrong?" Tom watched Janeway as both her hands flew to her belly and then he   
whirled, going for the medical tricorder. But he didn't leave – Kathryn stopped him.  
  
"No! No, wait." She hesitated a moment longer before a slow smile started to creep onto her face, and   
Tom felt the fear her outcry had caused to slip away.  
  
"Captain…"  
  
She had the oddest expression on her face, as if she'd retreated within herself. She looked so…well, she   
just looked beautiful. Tom had always considered his captain attractive, but he'd never allowed himself to   
contemplate her beauty. Now he couldn't help it. He'd never seen a smile like that in all his life.  
  
"Wait, Tom. Feel this." Kathryn suddenly grabbed Tom's hand and placed it against her swollen   
abdomen.  
  
"Captain, what are you…"  
  
And then he felt it. A kick. A baby's kick.  
  
"Your child is trying to say hello," she told him. And for the second time that day, Tom Paris felt like   
crying.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Tom knelt there by Captain Janeway, frozen still, a look of utter amazement on his face, as one of the   
children they'd miraculously created kicked a steady beat against the hand Kathryn had placed on her   
stomach.   
  
"You can feel it here, too," she told him, moving his hand to the other side of her belly where, indeed, he   
could feel the same motion. "That's two so far. Their brother or sister must be sleeping."  
  
Tom swallowed. Brother or sister. The concept was still unbelievable to him.  
  
Janeway was so caught up in the wonder of feeling her children move that she didn't feel Tom's eyes on   
her right away. When she did, however, she met his intense gaze, and stilled, suddenly realizing that she   
hadn't stopped to consider what this part of their situation might mean for Tom. She had no idea how the   
thought of parenthood sat with him. Of course, she'd only just realized she was pregnant this morning.   
She hadn't known where the thought of parenthood sat with her, either, until she'd felt the babies kick   
again and knew she couldn't not love her own children. Of course, it might not be the same with their   
father.  
  
"I'm sorry, Tom. I didn't consider your feelings on this. Naturally, if you don't want responsibility for the   
children…"  
  
"No!" Tom answered quickly, covering Kathryn's hand with one of his own. His immediate and emphatic   
response surprised her and comforted her automatically.  
  
Tom grinned, sheepish. "I mean…I know you and I didn't plan this. Obviously."  
  
Kathryn chuckled. "I'll admit, I've considered having children. But I never thought I'd be having them   
with you."  
  
But then Tom's expression became serious. "You're the captain, Captain. And these are your children…"  
  
"Our children," she stated firmly, and Tom grinned.  
  
"I want very much to be a part of their lives." He looked down at the mound that was Kathryn's stomach   
hidden beneath her blanket. Then he shook his head. "I just can't believe it. This is happening so fast."  
  
"You have no idea," she told him, dryly. It was hard to believe that only yesterday the thought of having   
children, raising them on her ship, would have been preposterous.  
  
"Perhaps," she told him, "this all would have been harder to take if I'd awakened earlier in the pregnancy –   
or even after it. But, things being as they are, I can't help but accept the babies. They're a part of me   
now." She rubbed her belly. "I don't suppose there's anything I can do now but accept them."  
  
There was silence as Tom and Kathryn contemplated the decision they'd just made. There would be a lot   
to take care of when they got back to the ship – living arrangements, etc. Kathryn wondered what they'd   
tell the senior staff. How would the crew take the idea of she and Tom raising these children together?   
How would Chakotay take it? She, as the ship's captain, had put a romantic life in the category of 'not for   
you' long ago, but what about Tom? How would the children effect his social life? Life on a starship   
would be difficult, at best, for a growing child; even more so when that child's parents weren't together.   
And if those parents – or at least one of them – was involved with someone else, what effect would that   
have?  
  
As for Tom, he pondered on the strange twist his fate had taken. He was a father now – of Captain Kathryn   
Janeway's baby. What would his father think of that? Tom thought about Owen Paris, then; about the   
things he had done as Tom's father, both good and bad. He hadn't been exaggerating when he'd told   
Kathryn how much he wanted to be in their children's lives. In recent years, he hadn't put much stock in   
the possibility of his ever settling down and becoming a father, but he'd always known that if he did have a   
child then he would love it more than anything in the world. He would learn from his father's actions, both   
good and bad, to give his children the parent they needed.   
  
Tom glanced sideways.  
  
"Are they still…"  
  
"Kicking?"  
  
Tom nodded. Janeway smiled, and nodded back.  
  
"Can I..."  
  
Kathryn pulled his hand back to where it had rested before, one of their children   
answering for her with a swift, sharp jab that made Kathryn giggle. Tom laughed, too.  
  
And so, sitting there, together, Tom and Kathryn basked in the glow of new parenthood and watched the   
alien sun above them slowly set. Their first day as a family had come and passed.  
  
  



	2. Chapter Two

It was amazing how intimate two people could become over such a short period of time in the right   
circumstances.  
  
Tom and Kathryn had served together for some time now, but never had they gotten the chance to spend   
time in one another's company like this – sleeping and eating, together, in the small confines of the shuttle.   
Days passed and all they could do was spend it talking – sometimes about the children, sometimes about   
themselves. They had long ago developed an affinity with one another, and now that connection only grew   
as they learned more and more about each other.  
  
And then there was the intimacy of their housing arrangement. Tom had managed to find the equipment   
necessary to piece together some robes for Kathryn and himself, but even so, they lived each day knowing   
that the other was totally naked beneath those long swaths of fabric. The Captain told herself that this   
shouldn't matter. Though they'd experienced something special with one another – were experiencing it   
still, and would for the rest of their lives – Tom was still her subordinate. They were expecting triplets, but   
they weren't a couple. Yet it was easier to convince her professional mind of that than to sway her raging   
pregnant hormones. As she became more and more familiar with the sounds Tom's voice, his laughter; the   
feel of him next to her as they slept, his constant presence, Kathryn found it harder and harder not to fixate   
on little things about him she'd never fixated upon before. For example, the innocent way he looked asleep   
– she'd never seen him sleep before. And, soon, even her mind began to betray her – returning again and   
again to the glimpses she'd seen of Tom naked. Her dreams were filled with images of their mating that   
her subconscious had fabricated to replace her lost memories of the experience. And absolutely every   
single tidbit of gossip she'd ever heard concerning Tom's sexual prowess came forth to torment her,   
making it dangerous for her to be in close proximity to him. Which was pretty much all of the time.  
  
Pregnant human women this close to giving birth are not the most self-sufficient of creatures. Janeway   
soon found herself requiring assistance in some of the simplest, most personal tasks. And throughout their   
days in the shuttle, Tom ended up seeing her in the sort of embarrassing, private moments that noone –   
certainly no man – had ever seen Kathryn before.   
  
If Tom had been repulsed by her natural, vulnerable state, perhaps that would have circumvented the   
growing tenderness and attraction she felt building, day after day, for her helmsman. As it was, though,   
Kathryn found Tom to be one of the most gentle, tolerant, and caring individuals she had ever met. She'd   
always sensed the goodness in him, but she'd never guessed at just how deep that goodness went, at just   
how giving and selfless Tom Paris could truly be. More than once over their time together, Kathryn found   
herself cursing whatever demented souls had spread the word that this man was the selfish, ruthless   
character she'd heard tale of. Even if Tom had made mistakes in his youth, the captain no longer believed   
those mistakes could have been motivated by self-interest or malice. Tom was a gentle person – complex,   
but gentle. She couldn't think of anyone she'd rather have with her now in her time of need.  
  
And therein lay her problem.  
  
When they'd first awaken on the planet, Janeway had been certain in her belief that they could pull this   
parenting thing off without a hitch, and with total non-objectivity. But now she wasn't so sure. Each day,   
Kathryn felt her emotions tilt further and further towards an extreme she'd never let herself contemplate   
with a member of her crew, much less her pilot. She could make excuses and rationalities all she liked, but   
in the end, Kathryn knew she was fighting a losing battle. Eventually, if Tom's incomparable wit didn't get   
her, his caring nature would – she'd resigned herself to this fact. There was just no way to avoid it. And   
each day Kathryn spent in emotional, sexual turmoil was another day she pondered the state of Tom's   
emotional state, as well.   
  
Had he any idea how she was feeling? He had to. Couldn't he see the new softness that had crept into her   
eyes when she looked at him? Didn't he notice the way she'd suddenly stopped using their ranks to create   
a barrier between them? Quite the opposite, she'd been working hard to develop a relationship between   
them that said they could be 'Captain', 'Kathryn', 'Tom', and 'Lieutenant' all at once, without that altering   
their interactions with one another in any profound way. And whenever she now pressed his hand to her   
stomach to feel their children move, every time his skin touched hers, Kathryn felt a bolt of electricity that   
was only sharpened by the knowledge that Tom only touched her in the most chaste and innocent ways.   
She was beginning to feel wanton – something she'd never felt before, even in her most passionate   
relationships with men.  
  
As for Tom, this time spent with Kathryn was a sort of heaven he'd never experienced. Just the honor of   
calling her Kathryn – a privilege usually reserved for Chakotay and Tuvok, though the Vulcan never took   
advantage of the distinction – made him feel something he hadn't let himself feel in a long time. He'd   
never believed that he'd find the sort of bond he felt growing between them now – much less to find it with   
the great Kathryn Janeway. He'd always admired her beyond words – not just for her professional   
determination, but for her strong personality, which allowed her to like or dislike a person for themselves,   
not for their rank or family name. He knew she'd given his father her loyalty because she believed in him,   
not because he was the legendary Owen Paris; and he knew she'd given him his second chance because she   
believed in him, as well, not just because of his ignominious name. He'd known this about her from the   
moment he'd seen her, mingling at some Starfleet social engagement or another; had admired her for it   
even when he was jealous of her for winning the favor he believed his father had denied himself. And then,   
when she'd taken him out of that prison, when she'd put him at the helm of her ship…  
  
Admiration was a pale description. That wasn't to say, however, that he'd put her on a pedestal – an   
unreachably high alter of worship like Harry – as much as he loved the guy – seemed to have done. He'd   
never lost sight of the fact that, through it all, Kathryn Janeway was human just like all of them. She was   
human and she was a woman – if Tom hadn't realized that before, he certainly did now.  
  
Talking to Kathryn, learning about her, revealing a part of himself to her that he'd never revealed to anyone   
else before, was a blessing Tom cherished. He was very stimulated by the deep, intimate mental and   
emotional contact they made. But as for the physical contact…  
  
No matter how many times Tom told himself that it was wrong, that the Captain needed him and didn't   
want these unwelcomed emotions and desires of his complicating things, Tom just couldn't help but want   
her. He couldn't pretend that he didn't dream about the lovemaking they'd never really had – not in its   
actual sense; couldn't seem to get his mind off the image of her as she'd been when they'd first awakened   
here – naked and gorgeous in all her un-clothed glory. Kathryn had once jokingly called herself an old   
woman, and Tom had nearly choked on his emergency rations. The woman was exquisite! He had no idea   
how she could ever consider herself old or unattractive. Quite frankly, he found her just a little too   
attractive. Enough so that their nightly sessions of lying side by side, feeling the babies kick, were   
becoming exercises in restraint. Not that he'd do anything – not that he could. But the urge to groan aloud   
when his skin touched hers, sometimes became dangerously close to uncontrollable. And it made him feel   
like a bastard – a true bastard. He'd gotten Kathryn into this situation, and now here he was, lusting after   
her – after a nine-months pregnant woman, for good God! – like a lech. It was awful.  
  
And, yet, Tom's sexual frustrations weren't what really concerned him. What did was his emotional   
turmoil – the growing, life-altering emotion that he felt building for Kathryn day after day. It's not that he   
objected to it, or didn't want it. Really, he didn't think it was a matter of wanting to or not – loving   
Kathryn was a privilege he wouldn't have refused even if he'd been able to. The problem was that he had   
no idea how Kathryn would feel if she knew how he felt. Did she know already? Could she tell? He was   
plagued with doubts. She was still his Captain, and – damn it all – he was still Tom Paris. Of all the men   
on all the starships in two quadrants, Kathryn probably couldn't choose a worse potential partner if he   
asked her to. And then there was the question of other partners. He knew, from their conversations, that   
Kathryn didn't have a relationship with Chakotay. But what if they got back to the ship and Kathryn   
decided that, though she didn't want Tom, she did suddenly want some man in her life? Chakotay would be   
the obvious choice – the man doted on her, and it turned Tom's stomach just to think about it. He liked the   
Commander, very much; admired him a lot. And the gods knew how he wanted Kathryn to be happy. But   
seeing her with another man? With Chakotay – his long time foil? It would hurt. A lot.  
  
What would he do with his wayward emotions? How could he possibly hide them from her for any   
significant amount of time? She had to see the tenderness in his eyes when he watched her, had to notice   
the pleasure he took from anything he could do to help her , make her comfortable – even the slightest task.   
Should he even try to hide his feelings at all? They were both adults, they had three children on the way.   
Was it so crazy that the parents of those children be together?  
  
So lost in their individual doubts and desires were Tom and Kathryn, that they never noticed the same   
feelings in each other. And then, one day, something happened.  
  
Lying together on the cots they'd pushed together to sleep on, cuddled beneath their shared robes for   
maximum warmth, Tom and Kathryn were abruptly awaken in the middle of their sleep period – Tom by   
Kathryn's startled outcry, Kathryn by an unexpectedly sharp pang in her abdomen.  
  
"Oh!"  
  
"Kathryn! Kathryn, what's wrong?"  
  
And then her water broke.  
  
"The babies are coming," Tom whispered, and Kathryn merely nodded. They had both hoped that Voyager   
would reach them by now, that Tom wouldn't have to deliver the babies here without the conveniences and   
necessary precautions of Sickbay. Neither of them had ever been so afraid in all their lives.  



	3. Chapter Three - Last Chapter

"Twist of Fate", part III  
by pari106  
  
Code: J/P  
Rating: PG? (Just to be safe.)  
  
A/N: Sorry if this chapter disappoints any of you who were hoping for more out of it…and who have been   
waiting so long for me to finish this…but my muse sort of left me there at the end. Anyways, I did my   
best. Hope you like it!  
  
  
Nothing had ever frightened Tom Paris so much as delivering Kathryn's children, his children. He'd never   
delivered a baby before, much less alone and in the back of a shuttle. Much less triplets. But the babies   
were coming, and he had no other choice than to do his best. It was enough.  
  
Unlike some women, who suffered through labor for tens of hours, even days, Kathryn Janeway was lucky.   
In just five hours the first baby had crowned; two and a half hours later all three were lying on the cot next   
to their mother. There were two boys and a girl – and each of them so tiny it left Tom dazed just looking at   
them. They had created these tiny, beautiful little beings? He'd never felt so awed, so humble in all his   
life.  
  
They were small enough so that, once cleaned and bundled in blankets, Tom was able to pick the three of   
them up at once to introduce to their mother. Kathryn, who'd fallen asleep, exhausted, as soon as the   
children were born, stirred.  
  
When she saw the tiny, wrinkled bundles squirming in their father's arms, she didn't know what to say.  
  
"Oh…oh, Tom. Look at them! Oh my God…"  
  
Tom was grinning so hard it hurt, and he laughed to see Kathryn Janeway – who'd faced the Vidians with   
nerves of steel – overwhelmed by these three little infants. His expression softened, however, when he saw   
the tears welling in Kathryn's soft, gray eyes. Watching as she began to nurse one of their sons, Tom was   
overcome with such emotion he felt his own tears lodge in his throat, making it difficult to swallow, much   
less speak.  
  
Later, he'd realize what he said next, would remember that he hadn't meant to say what he did before he   
could discover how Kathryn would react. At that moment, however, he was overcome with such emotion   
that he couldn't hold the words back any longer.   
  
"Kathryn, I love you. I love you so much."  
  
For a moment, it seemed that neither of them heard anything but the beating of their own hearts and the   
hungry cries of their children. If Kathryn hadn't been crying before, she was now.  
  
"Oh, Tom…"  
  
And then Voyager's search party found them.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kathryn stood outside his quarters and shifted nervously from one foot to the other.  
  
This was one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do. 'Almost harder than giving birth', she imagined,   
then smiled. Or maybe not. But it would definitely be hard.  
  
Her smile was short lived, however. To be perfectly honest, she felt like crying again. 'Damn post-partum   
hormones,' she thought, but knew she was lying. It wasn't hormones that had her upset. The man behind   
that door had some very strong feelings for her. And she cared about him a great deal, considered him one   
of her most valued friends, and, gods, she didn't want to hurt him. But now she would have to let him   
know that those feelings he had for her could not be returned the way he wanted them to be.  
  
Kathryn finally worked up the nerve to push the buzzer next to his door, almost bolted when he answered   
"Who is it?". But she didn't – she stood her ground.  
  
"It's me, Chakotay. Kathryn."  
  
"Kathryn?"  
  
"We need to talk."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Tom stood in Sickbay gazing down at Voyager's three newest, youngest passengers – his daughter and   
sons.   
  
It had been two weeks since he and Kathryn had brought their children home, and still they remained in   
their makeshift bassinets in the doctor's office. The first week had been for observation; this last week   
they'd rested here simply because they had nowhere else to go. Soon they would need to be moved to a   
real home – or the closest thing they'd find to it on a starship. Baby furniture had been made and now they   
needed three baby rooms outfitted. First, however, they needed to decide where those rooms would go – in   
Kathryn's quarters or in his? Or perhaps – and this seemed the least likely, but easily the most preferable   
alternative to Tom – in *their* quarters. Once they arranged them, of course.  
  
Tom took one last glance at his darlings and quietly stole out of the office, not wanting to wake them.   
  
They hadn't yet named the children, although they'd debated a few choices for a while. Kathryn had   
proposed naming one of the boys 'Owen', and Tom had given her a glare that had reduced her to giggles.   
Now he wasn't so sure, though. Kathryn talked so highly of her former captain, was certain there was more   
love there between him and Tom than the younger Paris realized. Funny, but somewhere during their days   
together, Tom had begun to believe her. However, that didn't mean he wanted to name his offspring after   
the man. Personally, Tom was rooting for 'Harold'. They could negotiate on the other two.   
  
Tom smiled and left Sickbay, passing the Doctor on his way out. The holographic physician tried valiantly   
to grace him with an irritated frown – he hated having his Sickbay intruded upon day after day by crewmen   
wanting to see his tiny new patients. Or so he claimed. His mouth wouldn't quite curve downward,   
however - he was just as much a sucker for infants as any of them and it showed. Imagine that? Tom   
tossed something over his shoulder about examining the doctor's program and grinned at the EMH's   
indignant squawk.  
  
Then, however, Tom stopped, at a standstill. Where was he going now? He told himself he should just   
return to his quarters – he still had a few days off. But more and more often he found his feet itching to   
carry him to Kathryn's quarters, to settle this issue altogether. Eventually it would have to be done, he   
knew. But anxiety kept him from pressing the matter. In just a few days his life had changed completely –   
he had changed in a lot of ways. He was a father now – that was a big change all in itself. And he was in   
love.  
  
Tom frowned, making his decision and heading for the turbolift.  
  
'It was that 'I love you' that did it,' he thought to himself. 'You scared her off. She feels guilty now that   
she doesn't feel the same and she's afraid to tell you.'  
  
Then Tom dismissed the thought. Scared? Kathryn Janeway wouldn't be scared to be honest about her   
feelings. But then Tom remembered the look in her eyes, the tears, when she first saw their children.   
Maybe she was afraid he would make a scene over his unrequited feelings and the children would suffer for   
it later on.  
  
That thought made Tom frown harder. Surely she couldn't have misjudged him that badly? He would   
never do anything to hurt his offspring, no matter what else might be going on in his life. Then again, until   
just about three weeks ago, there had been nothing between himself and Kathryn other than the formal   
relationship of a pilot to his captain. Perhaps she really didn't know him that well - perhaps he'd given their   
days on the planet together an exaggerated significance. Maybe Kathryn hadn't felt the same connection   
building that Tom had.  
  
Whatever was going on, Tom could no longer take the suspense. And, besides, he wasn't the only one   
waiting. Their children needed to get out of Sickbay; they needed names. Something had to be done.  
  
And so Tom stepped off the lift on Kathryn's deck and headed for her quarters.   
  
They had so much to discuss. He called the computer and checked the time and then nodded. Good. They   
had another hour and a half before the babies would need to be fed again – that should give them time to   
talk about a few things. Not just about the children and about themselves, but also about the ship.   
Although everyone already knew about the children, the Captain had yet to make a formal announcement   
on the matter. What would they tell everyone? What would they tell Chakotay?   
  
Tom's fears about the large commander hadn't subsided. Was that why Kathryn hadn't come to speak to   
him? Were she and Chakotay making their own arrangements before Tom could object to them? The   
thought tormented him now more than ever. Now that he'd seen Kathryn with his children, now that they'd   
shared the spectacular experience of delivery…he didn't know how he would handle it if he saw her with   
Chakotay now.  
  
After several rings at Kathryn's door, Tom began to slowly suspect that something was wrong. Since   
coming back on board, Kathryn hadn't been allowed to leave Sickbay for a week. Even now she was   
recovering and rarely left her own quarters. And there could hardly be anything happening on the bridge   
serious enough to warrant her weakened presence – he'd have been alerted if there was.  
  
A disturbing sensation began building in Tom's stomach and he felt a sudden nervousness as his worst   
fears once again consumed him. No amount of trying to convince himself that he was just paranoid would   
help. Slowly, he raised his hand to his commbadge and tapped it.  
  
"Computer…what is the location of Kathryn Janeway?"  
  
The Computer trilled in response, "Captain Janeway is in Commander Chakotay's quarters."  
  
Tom paled.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Why?"  
  
Kathryn sighed. She had been right the first time – giving birth had been a breeze compared to this. All   
she wanted now was to get out of here and talk to Tom – their discussion was long overdue. But doubts   
and insecurities had caused her to put that discussion off as long as she could, and she'd wanted to let her   
old friend down gently first. Chakotay's friendship was very valuable to her, and she feared that she'd now   
lost it with the declaration she'd just made.  
  
"Kathryn, if you're doing this just for the sake of the children…"  
  
"I'm not," she stated, and something in her voice, in her firm resolve, convinced Chakotay like no amount   
of talking could.   
  
He'd been afraid of this – had feared it for a while, really. That day that Tom had achieved Warp 10 had   
been the worst. He'd looked into Kathryn's eyes then, feeling concern when the pilot's shuttle seemed to   
disappear with a garbled "Oh my God!" blaring out over the comm. But in Kathryn's face, the commander   
had seen more than concern…and, Spirits, but it had shaken him. She probably hadn't even been aware of   
her feelings then – had probably remained unaware until they'd landed on that alien planet. But Chakotay   
had become very aware at that moment of just how much more than "captainly" Janeway felt about her   
helmsman. And that same day, when Tom had come back and had been transported to Sickbay, the way   
she had rushed to his side had hit Chakotay like a physical blow. He had barely even recognized his own   
voice as he had uttered a quiet "Aye, Captain", had been certain that Kathryn hadn't even heard him. And   
since then, his fears that she would reject him for Paris had multiplied and compounded. Now those fears   
were confirmed.  
  
"Do you love him?"  
  
"Chakotay…"  
  
"Do you love him, Kathryn? You need to tell me."  
  
'But not as much as I need to hear that you don't,' he thought to himself. Alas, it was not to be. Kathryn   
shifted uncomfortably in her seat for a moment, then answered. The obvious sympathy and regret that   
marked her expression made Chakotay want to bleed for her, but he couldn't help her feel better now. He   
could barely hold himself together.  
  
"Yes, I love him."  
  
Chakotay simply turned around and faced the viewport behind him, having no idea what was causing the   
shaking in his body – his sorrow or his anger.  
  
"Why?" he asked again, this time almost inaudibly. Kathryn knew exactly what he meant. He wasn't   
talking about her loving Tom.  
  
"I don't know," she said honestly. "Who ever really knows, Chakotay? I can't help how I…"  
  
"Don't give me that shit, Kathryn! 'I can't help how I feel.' That's what you were going to say wasn't it?   
Can't help how you…well, you certainly did a damned good job of it with me."  
  
Kathryn didn't even look at him, and a disturbing thought settled in the commander's mind.  
  
"I see," he said finally, tonelessly. "Perhaps that wasn't so much of a job for you at all."  
  
"Chakotay…"  
  
"If you didn't care about me, Kathryn, why didn't you tell me that a long time ago?"  
  
Kathryn sighed. She'd tried that, many times.  
  
"I do care about you, Chakotay."  
  
"You know what I mean! Why Tom and not me? You've told me this isn't about the kids, and I don't   
think it's about duty any longer. Then what is it?"  
  
"I told you – I don't know!" Kathryn was getting frustrated. She was tired, she was weak, this hurt like   
hell, and – damn it – she wanted to see Tom! Still, she tried to gentle her voice.  
  
"Chakotay, I never wanted to hurt you…"  
  
He huffed, but she continued.  
  
"I didn't. There was even a time when I thought…well, anyhow, I never led you on, Chakotay. At least, I   
never meant to. But I want to be honest with you here - we're just too different, you and I."  
  
Chakotay sighed, not saying anything more for a good few moments. Then he sat back down next to   
Kathryn.  
  
"And you and Paris aren't?"  
  
"A lot less than you'd think," she told him, and Chakotay found himself nodding. Actually, he had always   
thought that there were some remarkable similarities there between Kathryn and Tom – their upbringing   
being one. And they were both so irritatingly stubborn – although Kathryn certainly irritated him in a much   
different way than Paris.   
  
Chakotay was still just as hurt, still just as angry – he was certain he would be for a while. But he was also   
suddenly very tired. He didn't want to argue anymore – he just wanted her to leave. Still, he had to ask,   
weakly:  
  
"Whatever happened to opposites attract?"  
  
Kathryn smiled, seeing Chakotay's words for what they were – a concession.   
  
She put her hand over his where it lay in his lap. "I really don't know, Chakotay," she said sincerely. He   
just sighed, but took her hand in his all the same.  
  
"I told you I don't know why I couldn't give 'us' a chance. But it wasn't just me, Chakotay. I think that,   
deep down, you know you wouldn't really have wanted that chance if I'd given it to you."  
  
Chakotay looked up, surprised, and would have spoken, but Janeway raised a hand, silencing him.  
  
"Just listen for a moment. I know you've said before that you loved me, but did you really love me because   
of the woman I am when we step onto the bridge? Or in spite of her?" Chakotay looked confused, and   
Janeway smiled. "Yes, there is a difference, Commander. But you don't know how to do it that way, do   
you? You don't know how to love Kathryn and the Captain at the same time without treating one or the   
other as a completely different entity – and that's why you never insisted we be together whenever I   
insisted that we not."  
  
Chakotay sat there a moment, trying to assimilate what she'd told him.  
  
"And you think Tom is capable of doing what I can't?"  
  
"In this matter? Yes. Yes, I do. I know he understands the relationship between a person and their   
command title just as well as I do. He knew the difference between Owen Paris and Captain Paris – and he   
knew how to behave accordingly around both of them without loving either man any less. I had the same   
understanding with my own father. If anyone can handle a relationship with a starship captain it's Tom."  
  
Chakotay shook his head. He couldn't believe Kathryn would try to simplify and dismiss his feelings for   
her like this. Still, her words gave him something to think about – and it seemed as though he'd have   
plenty of time to do some thinking over the next few weeks. While he sat in his quarters…alone…cursing   
Paris' name in every language he could remember.  
  
"So you and Tom have already settled everything?" he asked. So far, Chakotay had been able to keep the   
image of the two of them together at bay, but just referring to Kathryn and Paris as a couple was hurtful.   
Then he realized that Kathryn hadn't answered him. In fact, she appeared to be rather fascinated with a   
patch of his carpet.  
  
"Kathryn?"  
  
Finally she looked up.  
  
"I…uh, haven't told him yet."  
  
Chakotay frowned. Janeway tried to look casual, but he could sense the anxiety beneath her calm. She was   
worried.   
  
"You mean you haven't told him yet that you're accepting his offer."  
  
She shook her head. "He made no offer. This was my decision, Chakotay."  
  
"But then what…"  
  
And then it hit him.  
  
"You haven't told him *anything* yet. Including how you feel about him." His words were more of a   
statement than a question, but Kathryn nodded anyhow. Chakotay sighed.  
  
"Damn it, Kathryn, is there *any* man on this ship that you haven't left twisting in the wind for the last   
two weeks?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Eight ball, corner pocket."  
  
Tom motioned towards the corner he was referring to, took aim, and smoothly sent the ball to its intended   
destination for the second time in the last thirty minutes.  
  
He could practically hear Harry Kim's jaw drop. And then the kid kind of squeaked.  
  
"Twice! You've won twice! In *half an hour*!"  
  
Tom started to wrack up for the next set. He didn't even glance in Kim's direction.  
  
"Relax, Har. We weren't playing for credits."  
  
Harry fell into a nearby chair.  
  
"I should hope not! If we were, I probably wouldn't see a replicator ration for the next month."  
  
"The next two, actually…but who's counting?"  
  
Tom attempted a grin, oblivious to the fact that his best friend wasn't buying it, and motioned for a   
holographic waiter to refill his and Harry's drinks. He hadn't activated Sandrine tonight. Even though she   
was a hologram, she was such a close replication of the real Sandrine that she never failed to notice when   
his spirits needed boosting. And right now the last thing Tom needed was anyone trying to boost his   
spirits. How can someone boost your spirit when you feel like your very soul's just been ripped out of   
you?  
  
And as for Harry, the younger man had no idea what was going on in his best friend's head. Tom was   
acting strange. Well, considering the events of the last few weeks, Harry didn't suppose that was a big   
surprise, but this was a different kind of strange. When Paris had showed up to his door, inviting him to a   
few games of pool, Harry had immediately known something was wrong. Tom looked like hell – he was   
trying to pretend that nothing was wrong, but he'd rushed Harry with him to Sandrine's like the hounds of   
hell were chasing them down the ship's corridors. And now he'd won two consecutive games…without   
having wagered on either of them. Frightening.  
  
Also, Tom was drinking. Not the usual sip here and there, but all-out drinking – ordering synthehol after   
synthehol and downing full glasses like they were shots. If it weren't for the fact that those drinks were   
holographic, Harry was sure the man would be flat off his ass drunk.  
  
As it was, however, Tom wasn't nearly drunk enough for his own personal tastes. He downed his newly   
re-filled glass and motioned for another, missing Harry's pointed look as he began chalking his cue for   
another game.   
  
It was obvious Tom wasn't going to open up, so, with a sigh, Harry resigned himself to the fact that he was   
going to have to make his friend talk to him. Or to try, anyhow. Getting Paris to talk about his feelings   
when he didn't want to had always been like trying to stop a warp core breach with a hypospanner. And   
now, Harry knew, wouldn't be any different. Tom hadn't said much about the fact that he was a new father.   
Sure, he doted on the kids…actually, Harry had probably never seen anyone so excited by their children in   
his entire life. Who'd have thought – Tom Paris, the consummate father and family man? Harry wasn't   
really surprised, but he was amused. Tom bragged about the children non-stop; was known to discuss, in   
exact detail, every movement the babies made. He'd called Harry to Sickbay on a variety of occasions just   
to watch one or all three of the infants do something spectacular. (And, since the children were still   
newborns, 'spectacular' usually meant that they'd opened their eyes or cooed or something.)   
  
It was almost sad, really - seeing a career bachelor of Tom's fine reputation reduced to so much goo by a   
handful of infants. And it was also wonderful. Harry was thrilled for his friend, even if he was still   
boggled by the situation that had led to all of this. And he couldn't help but let a little of Tom's enthusiasm   
rub off on him, as well. He and Tom were really close. It wasn't a relationship that either man felt   
comfortable verbalizing, but Tom was the closest thing Harry had ever had to a brother, and vice versa. So   
looking at Tom's children was kind of like looking at his own nieces and nephews. He couldn't help but   
feel a little gooey, himself.  
  
And now he was starting to feel anxious, as well. In the two weeks since Voyager had found the Cochran   
and its missing passengers, Tom hadn't once mentioned how the Captain felt about all of this, and Harry   
had only ever seen her in passing. Tom hadn't said anything about what they were going to do about the   
children. And by his current mood, it was obvious that, if they had come to an agreement over the kids, it   
hadn't been a very pleasant one. At least not for Tom.  
  
Concerned for his friend and his new, honorary family, Harry prepared to speak…but never got the chance.  
  
Because then Sandrine's doors opened, and in walked Captain Janeway.  
  
  
  
  
  
Kathryn liked the think that, over their days in the shuttle, she'd gotten to know Tom quite well. And she   
knew now, just from looking at him, that he wasn't at his best. She sensed it the second she walked in the   
door, and sighed. Chakotay had been right – she had made a mess of things. But was Tom really upset   
because he loved her, and felt that that love was unrequited? Or was he worried that she was under the   
mistaken impression that he was? He'd said he'd loved her, down there on the planet. But was that just his   
emotional response over the birth of their children? Or could he really, possibly love her?  
  
For a moment Kathryn felt immobilized by these and other fears and insecurities – about their age   
difference, about the difference in their ranks. But then she shook her head, simultaneously shaking off all   
those irrational emotions. She wasn't getting anywhere by thinking this way. And she was, by nature, a   
strong and straightforward type of woman. All this second-guessing herself and sidestepping a   
confrontation with Tom was starting to make her feel queasy.  
  
"Hello, Harry," she greeted, and then, "Tom."  
  
"Hello, Captain," Tom greeted back, brightly. Or, at least, he seemed bright.   
  
"Captain," Harry reciprocated.   
  
"Would you mind if Tom and I had a moment alone, Ensign," Kathryn asked, surprising the men just a   
little. No small talk tonight – Kathryn had a mission now and she intended to see it through. Her mission   
was to set right how wrong the last few weeks had become. She was going to tell Tom exactly how she felt   
and let him take it from there.  
  
"Uh…of course, Captain," Harry replied with apparent reluctance. For a moment he just looked at his   
companions, but then he made his way for the exit, pausing only a moment as he passed Tom. "I…I'll be   
in my quarters. If you need to talk." With a last glance at Janeway he was gone.  
  
And Kathryn sighed. She'd spent every moment since they'd returned to the ship feeling like Little Red   
Riding Hood – lost in the woods, knowing where she had to go but hesitating from getting there. So how   
could one ensign suddenly make her feel like the big, bad wolf?   
  
The silence that lingered in Harry's wake was palpable, but, thankfully, brief. Tom never could stand   
extended periods of solitude. And he was hardly patient – especially after a few dozen shots of synthehol.  
  
"Would you…uh, would you like to sit down, Captain?" He asked, motioning to a table. Kathryn nodded   
and they sat.  
  
"Thank you," she told the waiter when he brought her a drink, per Tom's orders. Then she turned back to   
her companion. "I should think you'd be able to call me Kathryn now, don't you, Tom?"  
  
It bothered her a bit, to have to remind him of that. And, truth be told, it had bothered Tom calling her   
'Captain' as if nothing had happened between them. As if they hadn't recently conceived and delivered   
three children. But he didn't know where he stood and he was so wary of mis-stepping.  
  
"Okay…Kathryn," he said finally, attempting a smile and raising his glass. They toasted and threw back   
their shots simultaneously. And suddenly Kathryn found the whole situation to be absolutely hilarious.  
  
She began to laugh.  
  
Of all the things he'd expected, all the ways he'd imagined their discussion to begin – with an "I'm sorry"   
or "I care about you, but…" – Tom had never imagined it would begin with a long gale of laughter.   
Kathryn was laughing so hard she was practically crying.  
  
"Cap…Kathryn? Kathryn, are you alright?"  
  
It took Janeway a moment to recover herself. When she had, it took a moment more to regain her speech.   
But once she did, her mood sobered considerably. Oh, why couldn't she just do anything and get it over   
with.  
  
"I…I'm fine," she finally told him, catching her breath, and then shaking her head. "Oh, Tom…we really   
are a pair, aren't we?"  
  
Tom didn't know what she meant by that so didn't say anything, but he smiled. That didn't sound like she   
considered it a bad thing.  
  
"I mean, here we are," she continued, "the parents of triplets…and I'm telling you to call me 'Kathryn'   
instead of 'Captain'. Like two people like us should have to do that. It really is ridiculous." However, it   
didn't seem funny anymore somehow.   
  
"Oh, Tom, I'm sorry I haven't come to you sooner. You could have come to me, you know, but   
regardless…" Kathryn spoke, and Tom knew what she was preparing to say. 'We should talk.' As it so   
often happened, however, she didn't get the chance to say it because her commbadge suddenly trilled.  
  
Kathryn started at the sudden, unexpected sound, smiling a little sheepishly at her own reaction. "Janeway,   
here," she said, tapping the badge.  
  
"Captain…"  
  
"Doctor?"  
  
"Yes. I just wanted to remind you that it's the babies' feeding time again." And Kathryn winced. She'd   
forgotten all about the time and, for the moment, about the babies. "We don't want the wee little ones   
going hungry, now do we?" the Doctor continued, sounding suspiciously as though he were making playful   
faces at the children on the other end of the comm line. Kathryn didn't know whether she should be   
amused at that visual, or irritated that her talk with Tom had to be, once again, postponed.  
  
"I'll be right there, Doctor," she said, closing the comm line.  
  
And then, "Tom…"  
  
"It's okay, Kathryn." He smiled. "I'll go with you."  
  
And Kathryn smiled back, nodding. They left Sandrine's together.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Over time, Tom had seen Janeway in many different lights. He'd seen her at her most formidable – staring   
down Kazon or Vidians; taking on the Banean Prime Minister, for his sake, and charging into a slew of   
Akritirian prisoners to be at his side. He'd seen the "death glare" in all its glory. And whenever it had   
been directed at him he'd felt ten times smaller under its intensity. During their time together down on the   
planet, Kathryn had told him just how much it took out of her to exude that sort of presence. And now, as   
she sat there, nursing their children and looking down at them with soft eyes, he realized that this – caring,   
loving – had the totally opposite effect on her. She seemed energized just by being with the children, by   
caring for them. He would say she seemed brighter, somehow, as he'd always said that she seemed to   
shine. And as, secretly, he had always liked to imagine that she shined just for him. A beacon in the storm,   
calling him home.   
  
She was calling him now. And he wanted so bad to go to her that it was physically painful. But beneath all   
her shine, Tom could tell that there was also something dark weighing on Kathryn's mind. Their   
discussion, no doubt. He needed to initiate it, but to do so gently.  
  
"I've been thinking…" he began, and Kathryn immediately looked up.  
  
"Maybe 'Owen' isn't such a bad idea after all."  
  
Kathryn smiled. She wasn't expecting that.  
  
"I thought you had your heart set on 'Harold'."  
  
And Tom was mildly surprised – he hadn't actually told her that that was what he was thinking. But then,   
he supposed he didn't have to.  
  
"Well, how about 'Harold Owen'?"  
  
Kathryn laughed. "Or we could name one 'Harold' and one 'Owen'."  
  
"I thought you wanted to name our other son after your father."  
  
"I can compromise."  
  
Then Tom was at her side. "So can I," he told her.  
  
They looked at each other and were suddenly caught in one another's eyes. The baby in Kathryn's arms   
felt heavier somehow, now that she wanted nothing more than to take Tom in her arms. So she held the   
child tighter in response. And she looked at Tom with even more longing. The time to talk was now.  
  
"We have to resolve this, Tom," she told him. They were sitting side by side on a biobed in a private area   
of the Sickbay – the place she'd chosen to feed the children until they could decide upon where they would   
live. And from where he sat Tom nodded. He seemed to be steeling himself.  
  
"I know. And Kathryn, I…"  
  
All of Tom's dreams hung on what was said between them next, and he tried to think of some articulate   
way of saying what he needed to; some grand speech to argue his case. But all he could think about was   
her and their family. His emotions were too much at stake here for articulation.  
  
"Kathryn, I know this…whatever this is happening between us, I know that it's sudden…no, just let me   
speak. I meant what I said down there on the planet." Tom looked her in the eyes and gathered up all his   
courage.  
  
"I love you, Kathryn."  
  
"Oh, Tom…"  
  
"I do. I know about the differences in our age; the differences in rank. I know about your non-  
fraternization policy…and I know you can be absolutely ruthless if you haven't had that first cup of coffee   
in the morning." They both smiled.  
  
"Tom…"  
  
But Tom wasn't finished. "And I know my reputation on this ship. I know it's still there, and no matter   
what I do, I know a part of it will always be there, somewhere, if not on this ship, then back home. I've got   
a lot of ghosts, Kathryn…and I've made a lot of mistakes in my past. But this isn't one of them. When I'm   
with you…the past seems a lot further away. Those ghosts don't seem so scary."  
  
Kathryn reached up to touch Tom's face, and he put his hand over hers. Then a sad sort of look came into   
his eyes.  
  
"And I want you to know, that no matter what happens. No matter what you choose…I will always love   
you, Kathryn. And the children. You're my life; they're my life. I told you when I asked to make the   
transwarp flight, that for the first time in ten years I felt like I had a life to risk. Well, I was wrong.   
Without you and the kids I didn't know what life really was. I do now.  
  
"I know life isn't much good without loving someone. And loving someone isn't much good unless you   
love them unconditionally. And I love you that way, Kathryn. Whether you choose to be with me…or…"  
  
Tom couldn't even say it.  
  
"Kathryn, I…" But then she stopped him.  
  
"Tom…are you…trying to ask me something?"  
  
Kathryn's heart began to beat faster. She felt like she waited an eternity for him to say, "Yes."  
  
And before he could open his mouth to say more, Kathryn took her own turn to speak.  
  
"Well, then, it's only fair that I tell you something before you do."  
  
Tom felt his own heart begin to thump faster, as well. This was it – she was going to decide the fate of   
their relationship. What that fate would be, Tom wasn't certain – but he was beginning to hope for a much   
more optimistic future than he had been before. Whatever he expected, it wasn't what she said next.  
  
"You know…the moment I saw you in New Zealand…I knew you'd be trouble."  
  
Tom blinked. "What?"  
  
"I took one look at you and thought, 'that man is going to make a total mess of all my finely-tuned   
protocols and procedures.' An absolute mess. And I was right.  
  
"I've never met anyone who bends the rules like you do, Mr. Paris. Molds them into your liking." Kathryn   
smiled. "You can't even say 'Yes, ma'am' like anyone else!"  
  
Tom shifted where he sat. Kathryn was smiling, but what exactly did she mean by…  
  
"I…I don't know what to say, Captain, but I'm sorry…"  
  
But she stopped him again. And her eyes held a very different emotion now than just laughter.  
  
"Did I say you had anything to apologize for, Lieutenant?"  
  
Kathryn moved to lay their baby down in his bed, then she went back to Tom's side, taking one of his   
hands.  
  
"Tom…I needed that. I *need* that in my life. I felt like I knew you before I even met you…I'd heard so   
much about you from your father. But I had no idea. Then I met you, the way you were then, and I   
thought I knew the kind of person you'd become. But I was wrong again. You keep surprising me, Tom.   
And I need *that* in my life, too. I need *you* in my life, Tom, just as much as you say you need me."   
Kathryn laughed. "Probably more…"  
  
Tom couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Kathryn…"  
  
"Wait…wait, I'm not finished. I need you because you *are* trouble, Mr. Paris. The best kind. The kind   
that keeps me human. I told Chakotay you and I could be good together because you were an Admiral's   
child, just like me. You know how to love me as Kathryn and as the Captain, at the same time, without   
treating me like I'm two different people sharing the same body. But it's more than that.  
  
"The truth is, sometimes I do feel like two people, trying to be one. But with you, I don't feel that way. I   
don't feel like I need to play the larger than life captain all the time. And I don't feel like I have to make   
excuses for just being me, without the title or the rank. I feel whole, Tom. And I appreciate that. I didn't   
realize how much I appreciated it until we were down there on that planet, and then I had to realize it   
because…because I…"  
  
Kathryn looked Tom in the eyes.  
  
"Because I love you, too, Tom."  
  
'Oh, my God!'  
  
For a moment, Tom just blinked. "You…you…"  
  
Kathryn laughed. To think she'd worried about confessing her feelings to him. She felt more alive in that   
moment than she could ever remember feeling in her life.  
  
"What's wrong, Lieutenant? Have I left you speechless again?"  
  
The next thing she knew, Tom was on his feet and pulling her to hers. She became enveloped in the most   
passionate embrace she'd ever experienced and Tom whirled her around several times before the laughter   
and the outcry faded into a long, longing kiss. The kiss left tears in her eyes, and Kathryn didn't bother to   
blink them away.  
  
"Weren't you going to ask me something?" she reminded, earning her one of Tom's infamous Paris grins.  
  
"I was just getting to that, Captain," he responded, lowering onto one knee.  
  
Tom had had a lot of questions in his mind, actually, that he'd wanted to ask her. Questions about them   
and the children, living arrangements and ship's announcements. But now, realizing that there would be   
time for all the answers, Tom concentrated on only one and asked:  
  
"Captain Kathryn Janeway, will you marry me?"  
  
And one month later she did…with all three blonde, blue-eyed babies Paris in attendance.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/A/N: I've been thinking about renaming this. "Twist of Fate" has just so been done before...but I'm not real good with naming things...so give me your suggestions (but be nice! Please? Thanks! :)  



End file.
